Posted November 17, 2011on:
Book Title: St. Martin’s Moon
Villain Name: Bertrand (and Dr. Ron)
What were you like before the story began? (Bertrand) Who wants to know? (Dr. Ron) He was a bloodthirsty monster then, he’s a bloodthirsty monster now. I, on the other hand, was a chiropractor, a respected medical professional, until the night one of his kind attacked me. They said I was lucky – lucky! – to be alive. If you can call this living.
Who are you opposing and why? (Dr. Ron) I don’t oppose anybody. I just don’t think we should continue with this, this charade any longer. (Bertrand) Everybody. You’re all just meat.
Do you think maybe you should just lay off the caffeine a bit? (Bertrand) Are you kidding? We haven’t had anything with taste since forever. If I didn’t bite my own arms every so often I’d go crazy.
Have you tried aromatherapy, then? (Bertrand) Flowers. Who needs ’em. (Dr. Ron) The enclosed gardens are quite popular. With everybody else.
Alright, so what it is you plan to do once you have reached your goal? (Dr. Ron) If I achieve my goal none of us will be doing anything, ever. (Bertrand) Me, once I figure out how to get back I’ll have me a fine old time, see if I can set a new record on the evening news.
What would your mother think of all this? (Bertrand) Why should I care? She named me Bertrand! She deserved what she got.
Right. So, how would you describe yourself? (Dr. Ron) I’m a man, trying not to be a monster, while he’s a monster who plays at being a man. (Bertrand) I’ve had enough of it. Even if they kill me let me go out in style!
Who are your closest allies? (Dr. Ron) I have none. (Bertrand) Everybody in my pack is dead. They got sloppy. Good thing I didn’t go with ’em. I’ll learn from their mistakes.
That’s great, but haven’t you heard the good guy always wins? (Bertrand) Who cares? I just want to have the high score before I go down. (Dr. Ron) That’s good to know, since I am the good guy here, even if the others don’t recognize it.